I went out to eat with some of my friends from school tonight and came home thinking about my job. I will admit that the beginning of the year was very tough. It was rough for many different reasons...new place, new boss, new expectations, new students, new coworkers, new atmosphere, having to prove myself...EVERYTHING was different except for the 100s of files that I brought along with me. Stress was an understatement! But, now that I am nine months into it, things have begun to fall into place and become familiar.
About a month ago, I was very torn as to whether or not I should find a new job. I sent resumes, went to a job fair, and prayed a lot! One morning I woke up and was totally at peace knowing that I would spend another year at my current position. Sure there are challenges, but that's life. I have a calling to work with the more difficult kiddos. I truly love them! Yes, some days they make me want to pull my hair out or scream at the top of my lungs, but deep down I would really like to bring them home and raise them as my own. It makes my day when that student that I have had to get on to a million times (in one day!) comes up to me in the hall and gives me a hug or fist pump OR goes out of his/her way just to make sure I smile at them and say, "Hey hon...have a good day. or How's it going today?"
You see, this life is not all about me and my comfort. Some of my students have a tough life and I realize that my smile and my hug (or fist pump) might be all they have to look forward to in a day. That thought can literally make me start bawling. Sure, my purpose is to teach these children how to read and write, but more importantly...I pray that I teach them what love looks like! Do I blow it sometimes? Of course I do! But, do I ask them to forgive me when I'm wrong?...I sure do, and it blows them away every time.
People wonder why I continue to do what I do; I have to admit that there are days when I wonder the same thing. But then I think back over the years about Aaron, Curtis, the two Kyles, Monika, Donnelle, Eduardo, Daisy...and the list could go on and on...and I wouldn't change it for the world. I know the Lord has placed each one of them in my class for a reason and I pray that through my life they can feel HIS love!!
